I was on holiday in Norway when I had the email come through from WordPress, informing me that a bazillion pounds (or there abouts) had been taken from my account to renew my blog for another year.
A wave of guilt and doubt jolted me into then spending the proceeding four months into considering blogging again, just to make the money spent, vaguely worth it.
Or just admitting defeat and recognising that the words I wrote didn’t do anything for anyone, and that my future as a highly esteemed blogger and Internet sensation, was not to be.
Instead, I’ve done the highly mature thing and deleted historic posts with any incriminating evidence of self pity, unrequited love and depressing interpretations of my take on life, and have decided to give blogging another go.
Now, here comes the snitch.
I first started blogging back in 2010, when people would be more than happy to read the puerile rubbish I wrote about music and food and my thoughts.
I had quite the little following and view count.
Not that I ever did it for the view count; it was always just a creative outlet for me and building a little community of loyal readers.
But on one tragic Saturday afternoon in the summer a year or so later, the website crashed and I never managed to access the blog again.
With everything I had written, my readers and my passion gone, just like that, I moved on best I could and left the world of blogging alone until the spring of 2015.
Spring 2015 (in fact, almost four years to the day), I went through a really bad break up.
Needing a new hobby, I created a new blog and started writing about my heartbreak and all the things I did (and achieved) following it.
I wrote quite a bit and never had a huge following but I had a little routine going and enjoyed it.
Then, as it tends to do, life happened and the struggles of coping with how life was making me feel, seemed to dull any motivation I had for writing and blogging, and so I didn’t.
And here we are, almost two years later, me wanting to get back into blogging, in what is now classed as an industry.
I feel as though I hibernated at the most pinnacle point in the blogging world, missed the boat heading to successful blog island, and have woken up in a desolate post-apocalyptic corner of the internet where I don’t stand a chance in hell at the content I want to write, even being considered as worth reading.
You see, I don’t want to write about beauty products and brand deals and VIP events at luxury getaways (not that there’s anything wrong with the blogs that do), because that’s not who I am or ever will be.
Blogging for me, always has been and always will be, writing from the heart about love and sadness and the realities of life at two in the morning, sat by the window with only a candle or three for light, and maybe some sad blues playing in the background.
Call me a Bridget Jones cliché if you must (I’ll happily take it), but if I’m going to carry on blogging/writing, then I must be true to myself.
So, what can you expect from my blog from this day forward:
Honest accounts of my life as a single, late-twenties singleton with M.E., one off thoughts and ponderings, film reviews, travel posts and whatever other untrendy twaddle my heart/mind feels like waffling on about.
There will be no: sponsored posts, brand deals, ads, tutorials (other than “How to come across as an unattractive nerd in front of the guy you like”), life advice or giveaways.
If you think you could get on board with a bit of old school blogging, it would be lovely to have you in my little community.