Dear anyone who’s mad enough to be here,
After a 5 month hiatus from What Amy Did Next, I am dipping my toe back in the dark & unknown waters of blogging again.
Quite a bit has happened since my last proper post on here, but we’ll get to that riveting stuff shortly.
Side note- none of it involves men, holidays or finally being made the princess we all know I should be (puke).
At the moment, I am on sick leave from work following a hasty trip to the quacks last Friday, after a tearful morning at work. Enough was enough and I knew something had to give. Having struggled with my mental health for months, I returned to the doctor and admitted I needed help. Not something I’m used to or comfortable doing, but something which I needed to do pretty badly.
I always feel a bit of a fraud when I go to the doctor reporting on how I can’t stop crying or feel too down some days to even consider seeing another human being, as I know all too well that there are many, many people in this world who are far worse off than me. But we all have our own baggage, our own issues and for some (me), it’s just a little too much, too often.
When I first started out blogging, I had these grand ideas that I would share my every thought, emotion and life decision with a following of loyal readers who would eagerly await my next instalment of my shitstorm life, but as time went on and I saw how popular beauty blogs were, and lifestyle (homewear and hauls) blogs, I realised we are no longer in the nosy nineties where every woman still wanted to read every woman’s diary. And so, I slowly gave up on sharing me, and tried to do what every other mid twenties girl was doing. And it didn’t work. No wonder there. Because it’s not me. The hauls, the fancy events, the holidays away, the beauty advice.
The only haul I’m capable of doing is a Tesco order of mashed potato and chocolate donuts.
I’ve seen so much on social media about why bloggers blog and how they should blog for themselves, but writing about how life affirming a Kat Von Dee eye liner is, just doesn’t do it for me.
I want to be the blogger who’s sat by her window at 2 in the morning, listening to slow blues music, pouring her doubtful heart out to the internet in characteristic prose, captivating the hearts of loyal followers. That’s me. That’s about as me as the internet will ever get.
But it just doesn’t seem to be what people want. If it’s not informative or brand promoting, it doesn’t get a look in. Emotions and feelings never won awards.
So, I’m going to give being me another shot in the hope that someone, somewhere wants to read about a depressed 26 year old Singleton living in her motorhome.
Which brings me on nicely (smooth, I know) to… I have finally bought a motorhome. This happened back in February and after a lot of faffing about, it is pretty much home. Along with my actual family home, of course. Where all the food and washing clothes happens!
It has been a slow process of making it feel like home and buying the necessaries, thanks to finances taking quite the hit post purchase. I’ve driven it once as it’s flipping terrifying but I’m going to seriously need to get a grip and just drive it to make it worthwhile long term. But I’ll do a whole other post on my motorhome in due course.
For now I just wanted to get back into the swing of blogging. After 5 months, I expect the first blog back is the hardest.
So, aside from the buying of motorhomes and being a depressed hopeless case, I’ve started bullet journaling (which I’m very much enjoying), still haven’t got very far with my journalism course, have watched Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban so many times I know all the words and eaten my own body weight in carbohydrates.
The only thing that’s changed really is now owning a motorhome and trying to live in it. It’s something I’m still getting used to. I think it’s half the reason I’ve not blogged for so long. It felt like the most obvious subject for my next post after January, but I just couldn’t find the words to describe the process and how I was feeling about it. I guess I still can’t. But I really hope to soon so I can share the process with you.
I think I’ll leave it there for now, reporting back soon hopefully.
Thanks for reading and whoever you are, wherever you are, I sincerely hope you’re well stocked in carbs.