We’ve all been there; snuggled up under the duvet with Ben & Jerry listening to Jazz Radio on a Sunday afternoon, wishing the week ahead wasn’t really happening and wondering if you’ll be in the same situation a week from now.
Being single can go two ways. For some, it can be the much needed opportunity to get your life together and find your life’s true path, or, it can be a bottomless pit of unwashed laundry, early nights and the Bridget Jones soundtrack being played on repeat.
For me, being single in my mid-twenties world, is a collaboration of the two. Whilst it has given me a chance to stop and think about where I want to go in life and not just follow in the shadow of someone else’s success, it has also given me quite a few lonely evenings of self-doubt and worry about the future.
But really girls, we can’t still be living in the day and age where the general consensus is that a woman cannot be happy and satisfied without a man by her side? Surely we have adopted and embraced our independent, self sufficient inner selves, said good riddance to such a restricting belief and power walked into the sunset, alone?
If you haven’t power walked off into a sunset and you’re single and wondering how on earth you can continue in this world of solitude, now honey, is so the time! The following are simple ways to beat lonely singleton blues…
- Visit Friends & Family
Knowing you have that really good friend who takes you as they find you or that distant aunt-who-isn’t-an-aunt who you run to in times of need, is an absolute life saver. Plan stuff with your best friend, go on girly outings, make future diary dates and always stay in touch. Bake cakes for family members and visit them to check up on how they’re doing. Not only will it be comforting and a good excuse to eat a slice of cake, but I bet you’ll come away with a great piece of unexpected life advice to help you on your way.
2. Make Your Living Space More Comforting
Whether you live in your own home, your childhood bedroom at your parents house, or a grotty flat you wouldn’t really let a dog sleep in for the night, you can turn that space into a softer, more comforting environment you’ll enjoy spending time in. The space you spend the majority of your life in will impact you and your mind way more than you may think, therefore, if you’re coming home from work at 7 in the evening and dread walking through the front door, you’ll spend the rest of the evening or weekend discontented with everything in your life. Whether its your room or your house, make a special spot to de-stress and relax in; tidy up and light some candles. Hang some fairy lights from the wall, draw the curtains, turn on Jazz Fm and pour yourself a pot of comforting Lemon and Ginger Tea. Sit back, breathe in the aroma’s of your scented candle & ginger tea and thank whatever you believe in that this space is just yours.
3. Join A Social Event or Group
Go get em’ girl! Go be a social butterfly and soak up the magical world of evening outings with social groups. It’s a great way to meet new people, make new friends and stay in touch with the dreaded outside world. You don’t need to be in a romantic relationship in order to enjoy evening’s out; you can get ready at your own pace, head out the front door feeling gawwwgous and converse with people who may be in the same situation as you. And just think, at the end of the evening, you can come home to your lovely little space with fairy lights and candles, kick off your shoes and feel connected. A good website for meeting new people in your area is CitySocializer which I have an account with but haven’t worked up the courage to use yet. Shame on me! Next month may be the month, along with Jazzercize! Also choirs, acting groups and other fitness classes are a good place to start.
4. Dear Diary
The first thing I did when I found myself alone again after the break up last May, was start a blog. I had owned two blogs a few years ago so I knew I could start another one without too much hassle. I began to write about how I felt and all the things I wanted to do now I was a free agent and it soon began helping me to feel less shut off from the world around me. It’s even better when you get nice people leaving comments on your posts and new followers. Even if you don’t think blogging is for you, keep a journal. If after a long and miserable day at work you feel tense and annoyed and you don’t have a single soul to moan at, write it in your diary. No one is going to read it so you can write whatever the hell you like. That’s the one thing blogging doesn’t give you, privacy, but it depends what you’re writing about and who you’re writing for. It’s actually quite liberating to be yourself, type your opinions then press a button titled “publish” and have the satisfaction of seeing your creation online, for others to read.
5. Getting To Know You
What better way to fill the time of being by yourself, than to get to know who you are. We are all someone ever so slightly different when we’re with another person romantically or even in a group of friends, maybe even around our family. But when the rush and chaos of company has left the area, who are we left with? Now is the ultimate time to discover your likes, dislikes, passions, life’s expectations… Maybe call on that hidden skill you have to create beautiful things, cook up a storm with the foodie in you, hear the writer in you shout to be released, articulate your spiritual path and research a better way of living. There is a part in all of us, that isn’t found, discovered or heard until we are alone. Be it for a long time or just temporarily. But we have to give our inner beings a chance to be noticed, otherwise there may be a significant amount of who we are, that never comes alive. Meditation is a really good place to start for connecting with the inner you.
6. Get A Pet
Having a fury companion is one of the best ways to deter loneliness. You don’t have to be a crazy cat lady because you own a cat and you live by yourself. If you live in your own home or somewhere that allows pets, go ahead and make use of that if it’s something you want and can handle. Cats, Dogs, Birds even, can make the most loyal and loving animals to share your abode with and (minus birds) they are great for cuddles too. If you’re in a rented accommodation where pets are not allowed, I feel a safe alternative to this would be a goldfish. What harm is a little fish or two in a bowl of water going to do? None! So, whether it’s a cute little kitty cat, an adorable puppy or a parrot, it’s another life in your home. Something living to care for, nurture, provide for and love. Pets really can be life savers in times of need, plus provide lots of giggles and “Aw you’re adorable’s”.
7. Read A Fictional Book or Netflix
Essentially, do something that is going to take your focus away from feeling lonely and immerse yourself in the life of a fictional character. But make sure it’s uplifting and happy; the last thing you want is to depress yourself about someone’s tragic life. Books wise, Where Rainbows End by Cecelia Ahearn is a personal favourite, as is Me and Mr Darcy and Wish Upon A Star. Netflix wise, Miranda, Absolutely Fabulous, Pretty Little Liars etc… They’re all either hilarious or so out there, you’ll soon forget you’re troubles.
Other great things to do by yourself and if you ask me, are best enjoyed alone are; Visiting the seaside and eating fish and chips on the beach while you look out into the ocean (there is nothing quite like it), Volunteering, Painting, Reading Poetry, Visiting Museums and Historical sites and Running; Cycling, walking, getting out and taking photographs, writing by a river, the sea or a lake is deeply inspiring and take yourself out on a date. Just don’t fester at home in your own misery. Go out, live and enjoy your very own freedom!