My Springtime Return

I am sat here convincing myself that spring has sprung and that the glorious sunshine and blue sky outside, will never again disappear.

The past few weeks have been somewhat of a struggle, either because of ill-health or worry or stress and I have not been able to bring myself to blog. As a result, I’ve barely had a page view and my presence on social media has taken a hit. I really resent that feeling unwell or worse, blue, impacts the joy and solace I find in writing and blogging. When I first started this blog, I had this rose-tinted image that I’d blog when I felt happy and I’d also blog when I felt low too, being able to document my feelings articulately and creatively. But no, not only can I barely bring myself to turn my computer on, but I seem to be too sacred to share my low feelings with the keyboard. I’d hoped this blog would show an honest warts-and-all account of my life and my mind, but alas, I don’t appear to be brave enough to allow it.

In my blog post on Friday I talked about how I’ve observed other bloggers battling with the unsure no-go area of diary posts and sharing their world outside of beauty and fashion with their readers, and how some of them are now introducing a diary page on their blogs. I am so excited for the bloggers who are allowing this kind of content into their blogs, mainly as that is my preferred theme of blogging. Like I said, I started this blog as an online diary blogger and as I have no specialty in beauty or tech or whatever, I feel more comfortable writing posts which I know a hella lot more about, my life.

So, with the partial disclaimer over and done with, I guess what I’m trying to say is that now I am over my two-week absence where all I managed to do in the evening or weekends was watch Merlin and do colouring, I feel ready to return to writing about my life. I suppose the other difficulty I face with blogging mainly about my life is that it doesn’t change all that much from one day to the next. But I guess that’s where the Carrie Bradshaw in me starts screaming to be let out, and instead of telling you all what I have had for breakfast that day and how a million and one people have annoyed me, I will write about situations or topics I find myself in or questioning and share them with anyone who give two pence. It’s at this point I suddenly find myself wanting to be one of those glamorously anonymous bloggers who writes about controversial and powerful topics with no risk of being found out and shamed. But I don’t intend to write about controversial stuff, more air my opinion on something that’s struck a chord in me, then put it out there nonchalantly for open discussion by any lost soul who happens to stumble upon my blog.

What Amy Did Next seems to be a bit of an unknown quantity in that, unlike really successful beauty blogs which post on a schedule reliably and produce content worthy of a page in Vogue (which lets face it, seems to be the norm these days. There are so many skilled and creative writers out there with enviable blogs), this lil’ ol’ blog will be spurting out the odd paragraph or two, probably not helping anyone in the slightest and worthy of a page in a pamphlet titled “How Not To Do Life”.

Not an awful lot has changed since the last time I posted in the diary section. Surprise surprise. Still hating where I live, not happy where I work and still haven’t been on that beach holiday every part of my mind and body is screaming out for. My hair’s grown a bit, I’ve learnt (taught myself, how wrong can it go?) how to ‘do’ my eyebrows, understood the fascination that is adult colouring books and may or may not be joining a choir.

. . .

I know, I know, the last choir I tried to join I was chucked out of, but I’ve always liked singing and this one is a no audition jobby where you just turn up and stand in a circle with other, slightly more appropriate people than you singing ‘Down By The Riverside’ while the guy in charge smiles encouragingly at you as you slowly destroy his very delicate eardrums. But lets face it, I need to get out. I need to engage in social activities other than work and popping down to Waitrose for a large tub of Ben & Jerry’s and telling the check out lady about my tragic life of aloneness.

The above obviously exaggerated for the sake of sounding hilarious… *Coughs*

Moving on, I now find myself sat at my desk on a Sunday afternoon contemplating another walk around town as a take two version of yesterday’s ‘walk in the sun’ where I ended up limping into my local cafe dragging my leg after I’d hurt my hips walking and triggered my sciatica. It was nice to get out though in the sunshine and I realise now how I’ve always underestimated how good for the soul being in the sun is and how invigorating a walk round the block can be. I plan to go for a walk every weekend now, other than to my grandparents house in the morning and the jaunt to work daily. Christ, I sound like Little Red Riding Hood.

Anyway, I’d better wrap this little fella up and attempt to do something useful like donate to charity or plan next weeks blog posts or watch documentaries on Netflix about Tibetan culture or colour in the last few sections of a page in my Enchanted Forest colouring book!

Until the next time I feel like over sharing and sounding like a middle aged lunatic…

amy (1)

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