Good Morning Autumn 🍂

 

With the subtle glow of the sun resigning itself to the fact that the cool wind is a stronger being, with the trees gallantly grasping on to their remaining green leaves as others turn a lighter shade of burnt gold and with that different, magical feel in the air that seasons are changing, Autumn my lovelies, is finally here.

The atmosphere always feels like something magical is brewing as Autumn air swirls around the trees and the wisp of the wind meaningfully brushes through the leaves causing a movement in them that is always absent during summer. There’s that glorious need to now where scarves when you leave the house, a need for that extra cup of tea in the evening and the need for a cosy pair of socks to decorate your tootsies while you watch the awesome Autumn TV.

I think what I adore so much about Autumn, is that it seems almost like the unseen season… It’s an in between time of year with no defining weather, no holidays, just a slow and beautiful transformation in our surroundings. Where summer brought greenery & sunshine & flowers & heat, Autumn brings warm gold & orange tones, unpredictable weather, dark mornings and a chill in the wind that’s just cold enough for the hairs on your arms to stand. Where out of nowhere a gust of wind can just sweep through the trees with birds in flocks flying off into the sky, as a solitary browning leaf floats past the window, telling the beginning of Autumn… That, to me, is the most mysterious of things, and what I love the most.

Amy 🌸🍁

Glitter, Books and Wishing Hearts

Despite the lack of orange, crunchy crisp leaves and wooly jumpers, I am actually preparing for Autumn! 🍁🍂

In the last couple of weeks, I have picked up a few things which I wanted to share with you all as I think they’re pretty lovely. They’ve come from all sorts of places including Oxfam, Polkadot, Boots & Waterstones. I am slowly but surely building a collection of nice things to use, read, watch and wear this Autumn and this, some could say, is  just the beginning…

First up is this glorious looking book that I’ve seen all over the place and each time I’ve seen it, for some unknown reason, I haven’t picked it up. Well, during an impromptu and long overdue visit to Oxfam recently, as I was pouring my excited eyes over the girly books on the shelf, Little Beach Street Bakery by Jenny Colgan appeared before me. Now, given my much needed escape to the seaside this summer and my increasing love for all things cake, I decided I was going to buy it before I read the back.

Escape to Cornwall to visit the enchanting…

This book is about finding strength in independence, finding joy in the simplicity of sharing your creations with friends and relying on yourself to get through when everything is against you. The description on the back of the book completely sold it to me as I could be Polly. Minus the Bakery and living in Cornwall… I am in times which seem against me and I am fighting so hard to get myself through this unexpected tough patch and tough as it often seems, I have this fiery determination brewing inside me to burst through and catch hold of my new dreams and wishes, because I know they are possible and I know it’s what I need and that’s what uplifts me, even when life is trying its hardest to kick me in the teeth!

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The amount of times in the past few months that I have gone shopping to the supermarket and forgotten my bag for life (which in theory only lasts about 6 pints of milk, two bags of Kind Edwards and two thousand chocolate bars later) and have had to shamefully use a few plastic bags which the cashier reluctantly plonks down, making the loudest, disgruntled rustle imaginable. Well, there’s been a few of those times and I’ve quite simply had enough of letting myself and the ozone layer down! So, whilst I was happily dancing my way around Polkadot shop this morning, I discovered the above beauty. A floral clip bag thingamajig which I can attach to my handbag so, in theory, if I remember to re-clip it to my bag after using it, I’ll always have a reusable bag with me to take to the supermarket! I don’t know who thought that up but they’re a genius! I just have to do my bit and keep it clipped on! Tricky times…

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This is little wooden wall hanging was also from Polkadot and its caught my eye on a few occasions, however, misery guts has been a little too disgruntled about life to by anything with the word heart on so soon, so I haven’t touched it! But today felt like that silly emotional restriction was a better time than any to stop, so, gleefully & carefully I picked it off the hanger and took it to the counter.

A dream is a wish your heart makes

i have been wanting to get an inspirational cute wall plaque for a while and this one seemed perfect. I love the design and font on the White wooden square and knew exactly where it would go in my room. It’s now hanging next to the shelf with my angel figurines and fairy dust ✨ Obvs…

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Sparkle Every Day…

Boy oh boy and does it sparkle! This is my new favourite nail varnish and might be my current favourite thing! Rimmel  have created a little jar of magic when they made this and to brush is gently onto my nails appears to be a real treat. I have never been keen on glittery nail varnish as I’ve worried they look a bit too partyish and not very elegant… But I take it all back and hold my imaginary unicorn tail between my legs! It’s the most beautifully elegant nail varnish I’ve worn in a very long time! The delicate shimmery golden gloss mixed with the dots of purple glitter glides adorably over my nails with a varied but terrific coverage. It feels very Autumnal thanks to the golden shimmer but could be worn in any season I feel. It’s just so pretty to look at on my nails and in the tiny jar. So pretty in fact that it’s taken pride place on my new shelf which I’m very happy about. You’ll be able to see that in my Favourite Things post which I’ll be doing very soon. It also has excellent staying power and only needs one top up coat and it’s good for a couple of days. You do have to be quite firm when taking it off mind you, but a little bit of elbow grease never hurt anyone 😉 At risk of sounding like a double cheese burger with extra cheese and a side of cheese; with this nail varnish, you really do sparkle every day… ✨

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I think I let out a too-loud-for-public yelp of glee when I first stumbled upon the set of books by M.C.Beaton, whilst I was gallantly striding in and out of the shelves at my love palace, Waterstones.

I was heading fiercely towards the crime section with intent to find a gripping novel about a gruesome murder with gory details, the sort of spine chilling page turner that would make Stephen King shiver. Instead, I pick up the girliest lady detective books that exists in the whole book shop and pant with happiness like a dog in a bone store!

A Spell of Trouble by the Seaside

Agatha Raisin and the Witch of Wyckhadden is one of a series of books by this author and in true classic Amy, I didn’t buy the first of the set, I picked one slap bang in the middle. But the plot sounds great and they’re clearly a set of books not short on humour dotted around here and there. I’ve mentioned here and there of my dream to be a lady detective and these books are only going to add tons of fuel to that fire. Funnily enough, I’ve picked another book where a woman is fleeing to the seaside in a bid to re-establish herself and re fluff up her feathers ready to take the world by storm again. I don’t know about you, but I think that screams volumes!…

So there you have it, my recent purchases I am simply thrilled with! I shall leave you with these little pieces of advice…

All that glitter and all that gold, can in actual fact buy you happy ✨

A dream is a wish your heart makes, so keep your heart strong and your dreams will be too.

Always keep a bag for life with you, preferably firmly attached to the bag you’re taking out. If not, there really is just no point…

And if you get repeated urges to escape to the seaside, you probably should go and establish whether you’re there to soak up the sun ( a good joke I know), re affirm your life’s dreams and ambitions or whether you’re just lost and have no idea why you’re on a filthy sandy beach in winter, sea spray splashing onto your frozen body and an ear ache so bad from the sea breeze, you consider stuffing a 99 over your ears for slight warmth!

With that chums, before I go off on a tangent… I shall bid you goodnight.

Amy 🌸

My Love/Hate Friendship with Autumn

 

If I’m being completely honest, which I feel I should be here, September has come and is going far quicker than I ever thought it would. This year was supposed to turn into something much different to what it has and the month of September held a very significant point to all of it. Alas, things have not happened the way I thought they were going to at the start of the year and now this time of year holds a very bitter sweet existence in my life. Where I absolutely adore autumn and the magical beauty the season brings, I am sorely reminded that I am not in the place I thought I would be and instead, I find myself alone, at 3 in the morning doing everything I can to distract myself from thinking about the one thing that used to bring me so much joy, but which now exists only as a forbidden memory within my scarred mind. Which I spend hours trying to ignore and which is still finding ways to creep into my thoughts when I’m least expecting it, when my guard is down. And it’s annoying. Really really annoying. After all of my hard work and strength to ease my mind and thoughts from the misery it’s known, for it all to be threatened by a moments reminder of such harrowing times. It’s just annoying.

I can only describe it as corner of the eye phenomena… You know when (in literal terms) you see something in the corner of your eye and if you’re not scared, turn your head to catch a glimpse of what it was taunting you? But what if it’s something a bit more sinister that’s hanging around in that corner of your eye, on in my case mind? You’re not so quick to turn your head then to confront this annoying presence of unknown entity. And you stare straight in front of you keeping your head completely still, not looking round once. Not acknowledging it for one second, because you know if you do, you’ll be consumed by this terrifying force that is primed and waiting to pounce on your soul and destroy every last bit of the strength you’ve gone to so much trouble to build. So yeah, this tormented memory is lingering around in the corner of my mind, as though it belongs there (which it doesn’t) and every so often it will creep round so far into my thoughts enough to make me acknowledge it and with nowhere to run or look away, I see it and I think about it. But I still have the power over this thing. Because I have not let it consume me. Not once. And I certainly don’t intend on letting it ever consume me. For the times when it did, when I was living the horror of this memory, I know it’s a place I never want to enter again. And that’s good enough knowledge to bring myself back from stepping into its being.

This is heavy!

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Also, with the coming of Autumn, means my M.E. is putting in quite the effort to show its ugly face and I am currently feeling the force of it, like I haven’t done for a few years. I notice my M.E. a lot more during season change and Autumn is no exception. I am having some very unwell days at the moment and so far, I have only been sent home ill from work once in the last couple of months, but I fear as we go deeper into the season, that might just increase.

I’ve had M.E. since I was 7 years old so 17 years later, I can safely say I’m quite well acquainted with what to expect. It hasn’t been this bad in absolutely ages and I feel completely floored by it. It’s honestly knocked me for six. I’m spending all day every day in pain all over struggling to walk up and down the stairs without a dull ache soaring through my legs, my back feels like someone is running over it with an army tank and the rest of feels pretty similar. I don’t think there is one part of me that isn’t effected. Aside from the severe aches and pains which are foremost at the moment, comes a myriad of other problems that goes with it. Such as constant tiredness, sleep pattern problems (which is why I’m writing this morbid essay at 3.30am), brain fog and concentration difficulties, memory issues, colds and other infections, raised and painful glands, irritability and sensitivity to just about everything which effects all of the senses. This is all alongside holding down an 8.30am – 6pm job which sees me on my feet all day moving around an awful lot, with only an hour at lunch to flop myself down on the nearest chair and eat, whimper, repeat until it’s time to go back to the grind.

I’d be interested to find out if any other M.E. sporter experiences flare ups during season change as I seem to get this each time. Just not spring to summer but I think that’s because no one in the history of ever, can tell the flaming difference between the two! And if you can then you probably have special powers and should be knighted by the queen. And dame hood if you’re a girl, obvs. And if you’re not an M.E. expert, you can read more about it here if you so wish.

But I do love Autumn and always get excited when it arrives, I just have a few difficulties during it. It brings so many exciting things like brown crunchy leaves which fall to the ground and conveniently collect in big piles so someone walking along can come and have fun buoyantly kicking them into the air bringing them back to life and making the kicker and cruncher entirely happy. And there’s Halloween, and darker evenings and mornings, and the return of woollen knitwear and great telly. Because who agrees TV shows greatly improve once we reach autumn? 🙋🏻 I mean, there’s Doctor Who and Strictly Come Dancing and The Great British Bake Off and The Apprentice and some exciting new drama always starts one the BBC, so really, Autumn is the place to be… Just with Paracetamol and a hot water bottle if you’re me. Gosh, don’t I build the most stylish of pictures!?

I’m going to be doing more Autumn related posts in the coming weeks, but happier ones like my Autumn wishlist and  a favourites post too, because I do have quite a few favourite things building up and I need to let everyone know!

Amy 🌸